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This is the first piece of writing on a site that has been a long time coming. Vivian Deakins is a pen name, and this is the home for the books and essays I’m writing under it. The short version: you’ve found a place that takes the work of building a life seriously, especially the version of that work done by women who would rather figure things out themselves than be told what to do.
What the writing is about
The work here falls into a few connected territories. There is writing about writing itself, including excerpts and notes from whatever I’m drafting or revising. There is practical material on life management and independence: the foundational skills many of us were never taught and now find ourselves needing in midlife, after a transition, or on the far side of a reset. There are pieces written from a neurodivergent perspective, for women whose brains do not run on the standard operating instructions and who have stopped pretending otherwise. There is writing for women who are starting over and rebuilding, after divorce or job loss or health changes or the quieter kind of reset that comes from waking up ready for something different. And there are longer reflections and personal essays on solitary living, creativity, self-trust, and the slow, unhurried work of becoming.
What the writing is not
Not a product review site. Not a hustle site. Not a place that will tell you the five things successful women do before breakfast, or promise that a particular routine will fix the thing you feel is wrong. The assumption here is that you are an intelligent adult who has been around the block a few times and does not need to be motivated, only met.
A note on HTBI
HTBI (How To Be Independent) is the life management brand connected to this writing. The two sit alongside each other. The books and essays live here. The longer-form, more practical material on building a self-sufficient life lives there.
What comes next
From here, posts will start arriving on a regular cadence. New essays. Notes on books I’m reading and writing. Pieces about the practical and the contemplative ends of the work. If you want them as they go up, the RSS feed is the simplest way.